So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
