totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Randomize