I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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