So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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