The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
