I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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