I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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