Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
