How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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