My friends, they love my intelligence
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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