we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
