just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
