If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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