The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
