imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
