It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize