Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
