Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she pinky promised me she was 18
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
