i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
