the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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