All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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