Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you had me at cake vodka
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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