my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
