Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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