But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
