Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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