so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
