I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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