I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
