Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
