your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
