I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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