don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Panties = found
Randomize
