the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
