Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize