im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
