Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
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