My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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