I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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