At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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