Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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