I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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