hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just googled if crying burns calories
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
