I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
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She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
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No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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