Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
