Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
