His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
