he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
