I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
A+ Viking dick
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
