We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
