Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
