i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
