Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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