I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
