We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
