I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize