Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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