So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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