That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
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"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
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I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize