He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
