I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My balls are so social today.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just want nice things and good sex
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
